Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
