eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
