Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
