Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
