I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
