Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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