And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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