Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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