Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
