the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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