My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
