yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
