I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
