your thong is hanging out like whoa
i barfeds in our rink
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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