I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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