do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
