dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
