If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
