there was a trapeze. enough said
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When did we convert life to cartoon?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
