dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
