He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
