I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize