Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
