im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My vagina just recognized that song.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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