The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
