even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
