His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
