the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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