she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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