"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You pole danced in your parka.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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