I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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