I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if only i could text you this smell
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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