easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize