I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
