I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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