I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
