so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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