somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
