The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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