Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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