just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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