ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
