Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
