sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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