Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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