suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
