you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
