I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
