okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
