apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
