oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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