so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
