We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
