i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
