My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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