If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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