D3 body, D1 cock
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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